Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Ah school. I love it. Well let me rephrase that. I love the social setting school provides, but don't like the homework involved. Really though. Classes are great because you are locked in a room with other people for at least an hour, and during that hour you make temporary new friendships because you have a common bond. Maybe you all in there because you have the same interests, or because you need the same pre-requisite, or (as in my case), you want to get your ticket erased from your record.
Yes, dear readers, after 5 years K.Love has received her first speeding ticket. I was fortunately enough to be able to go to driving school and get my record set back to zero.
My instructor's name is Walter. A retired cop back from the east coast. He had that harsh accent that could be heard when saying "the tree second rule" or "he don't know what he's doin'." I discovered he and I share a lot of qualities, which lead me to believe I'm an east coaster deep down inside. How can I tell? Well here we go:
1) Have a scary angry side - Right when we walked in the door he threatened us to be quiet, don't bring in food, no cell phones, etc. We were all scared straight. I have been told my angry side can be just as scary.
2) Be naturally funny - Walter had that old man-dry sense of humor. He seemed like he was pretty serious, but the stuff he was saying was hysterical. I find people laugh at what I say a lot. I suppose they could just be laughing at me though.
3) Inability to control one's mouth - Now I am, what I like to call, *too* honest. In reality, the self edit feature in my brain doesn't work, so any thought I have just sort of tumbles out of my mouth. Same with Walter. In the beginning of class I noticed a woman with a baby. I thought it was a little odd. Sure enough 20 minutes into class it starts to bawl and will not stop. After awhile Walter stops class and tells her she has to leave. Babies aren't allowed and this is why. She argues that he is hot, he won't take his bottle, and 20 other excuses. I of course want her to leave since its annoying me, but 2 guys in the back say "let her stay!". Ironically the two mother's that I'm sitting between both agree that she needs to leave. Anyways, the mother decides to get bold and says "will anybody in this class that wants me to leave please raise their hand." Before I can get my hand up Walter interrupts and says "its not their decision. its the rules. I told you that when you first signed up. Can't you get a babysitter?" She says they have a hard time giving him his bottle. Now, here is the groan worthy part. He then says "Well, where is the father?" Now there are 75 people in the class and I've never heard such a ruckess. Even I know that is not a very PC thing to say, but as I scrunched down in my seat I knew I was sort of thinking the same thing...
4)Ability to speak so fast you confuse your audience - When we'd fall behind the class schedule, Walter would read through the manuel at lightening speed. I could hear student's asking "what did he say?" and look confused. Since I'm quite experience in the art of speaking fast I was able to pick up when he left words out or sort of made up his own words because he was going to fast. I'm a master at this!
5) Low tolerance for stupid people - There were 3 specific students who just HAD to keep asking the most stupid questions. Like when Walter said "according the law if you taking a left turn and the light turns red before you are completely out in that intersection, and you still turn left, you're breaking the law." Enter lady is pink hat "Why?". Walter - "Because its the law!" Urgh...where is common sense when you need it. Just shut up and let the man teach.
All in all it was a good class, and its nice to know that at least one person out there is as completely un-PC as I am. :)
Monday, September 26, 2005
i have been invited to join this forum of silliness!
how can i describe my excitement? I’m giddy. very very giddy. its like a kiddy pool filled with alcohol-laced fruit punch.
i will get the honor of seeing k-love this up and coming weekend. this is also exciting. i'm sure this blog will probably double in size based on one little night of our mis-adventures. i can't wait!
i awoke this morning to Neil Diamond's 'Sweet Caroline.' Oh we must go karaokiiing! only time will tell....
Friday, September 23, 2005
- setting up my own WordPress blog database
- Thank You notes
- House cleaning
- journal entries
Yes. I said it...
and not the fun kind of zombies that we saw in "Shawn of the Dead". Like zombies that go around running in my head for the next 5 years going "why didn't you complete me? wuhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyy?" and then they keel over and start shuddering and writhing on the ground, whilst I resurrect more zombies, who then eat the flesh of the fallen ones.
Anyway, let's get back to WHY exactly I felt the need to post here today --- let's say, it involves Death Metal, Frappy, and a red light.
So I'm walking to my car from the PetSmart where I'm taking Frappy to puppy training. He's been a good boy and he's almost completely good with the sit command. The PetSmart is situated near a "Guitar Center" and a "Tower Records". As I'm getting into my car, I hear the sounds of some really bad death metal lead vocalist shouting and think to myself, wow, that kinda sucks. ...even for the amateurs at the Guitar Center. ...or maybe Tower Records is having amateur night. As I drive to the main drag with Frappy on my lap, the shouting begins to get louder. I look to the intersection where I need to turn right where there's this guy standing around pacing under the mercury vapor light. I think to myself
uhhhh. I don't think that's right...
but at least he's actually singing to music, based on the headphone wires dangling from his head...
and as I got closer, yes, the "music" got louder, until Frappy and I were serenaded so sweetly by the sounds of his voice under the red glow of the traffic light. His sweet voice, now at my passenger side window, gently lulled me to the awareness that
those weren't headphone wires, but shoelaces...
and I don't think he'll make it into any band anytime soon.
So, my best friend in the world, Robb, is coming back to visit this weekend. Its going to be awesome, but tomorrow will be a slight challenge for me, since we are attending every calorie lover's dream...beer fest. All you can eat and drink for $30. Luckily I've been there a couple times, so I know what lighter beers I like and probably won't stray. Its my food choices that kill me. If I remember correctly they had all that bad food that goes great with beer; Pizza, chicken wings, Krispy Kremes (well I'm sure somebody likes dunking it in their beer), etc. You know what is remarkable amazing? When Robb lived here, we'd go out all the time, either to eat, or to go to the pubs and end up at places like Greasy Tony's. Through all of that I managed to maintain my weight, but as soon as he moved I definitely eat out less and managed to pack on the pounds. In whose world does this make sense?
As far as the homefront, I'm in the process of refinancing my house (yeah!) so I'll just have one payment instead of two. I'll also be able to pay off my credit cards and such. Good stuff! Yesterday Brian (BOOFAH!) and I headed to Ikea and bought some bookshelves for the den. I'll be getting my new desk within the week. I'm slowly trying to makeover my house so it doesn't look like a penniless college student lives here. My proudest accomplishment? Actually buying an small TV stand to replace the end table my TV has been on for 5+ years.
So I know some of you are asking, ok, why did you give in and start a blog? I'm pretty anti-technology. Always behind the times. I mean a blog to me says "Hey, I think I'm pretty swell, and instead of keeping a diary, I'm going to share it with everyone so they can tell me how cool I am." I still pretty much feel this way, but a lot of friends have moved away, and my mother and sister both have higher priorities than BSing with me on messenger, so I don't get the daily interaction with them I'm used to. We are a very tight knit unit, so instead of writing 20 e-mails about the same thing, I figured this would be the easiest. Keep in mind, this is the edited version of my life. The really "good" stuff will be kept on my online diary, which only a very few select individuals that I trust. Ok, well one wasn't exactly invited to my diary. His wife accidentally left her password saved on her account, so he logged in and took a look. Its ok though. This was a guy who broke into my closet, put on my spandex like workout clothes, and ran out in my living room and gave me a cheer. If he's brave enough to do that, than I'm brave enough to let him read. :) Also, this is just the beginning steps of them Pem-K takeover (just a temp made up name). Pemma and I have plans to take over the internet. Ok, well not really, but we have lots of ideas we share with each other that might be fun to share. I mean really, the internet is full of useless crap anyways, we will just add to the fun. :)
Must go shower...
Monday, September 19, 2005