I'm a New Yorker!

So I know I am supposed to cover Beerfest '05, but I don't know what to say except the rains came, and they came hard.

Ah school. I love it. Well let me rephrase that. I love the social setting school provides, but don't like the homework involved. Really though. Classes are great because you are locked in a room with other people for at least an hour, and during that hour you make temporary new friendships because you have a common bond. Maybe you all in there because you have the same interests, or because you need the same pre-requisite, or (as in my case), you want to get your ticket erased from your record.

Yes, dear readers, after 5 years K.Love has received her first speeding ticket. I was fortunately enough to be able to go to driving school and get my record set back to zero.

My instructor's name is Walter. A retired cop back from the east coast. He had that harsh accent that could be heard when saying "the tree second rule" or "he don't know what he's doin'." I discovered he and I share a lot of qualities, which lead me to believe I'm an east coaster deep down inside. How can I tell? Well here we go:

1) Have a scary angry side - Right when we walked in the door he threatened us to be quiet, don't bring in food, no cell phones, etc. We were all scared straight. I have been told my angry side can be just as scary.

2) Be naturally funny - Walter had that old man-dry sense of humor. He seemed like he was pretty serious, but the stuff he was saying was hysterical. I find people laugh at what I say a lot. I suppose they could just be laughing at me though.

3) Inability to control one's mouth - Now I am, what I like to call, *too* honest. In reality, the self edit feature in my brain doesn't work, so any thought I have just sort of tumbles out of my mouth. Same with Walter. In the beginning of class I noticed a woman with a baby. I thought it was a little odd. Sure enough 20 minutes into class it starts to bawl and will not stop. After awhile Walter stops class and tells her she has to leave. Babies aren't allowed and this is why. She argues that he is hot, he won't take his bottle, and 20 other excuses. I of course want her to leave since its annoying me, but 2 guys in the back say "let her stay!". Ironically the two mother's that I'm sitting between both agree that she needs to leave. Anyways, the mother decides to get bold and says "will anybody in this class that wants me to leave please raise their hand." Before I can get my hand up Walter interrupts and says "its not their decision. its the rules. I told you that when you first signed up. Can't you get a babysitter?" She says they have a hard time giving him his bottle. Now, here is the groan worthy part. He then says "Well, where is the father?" Now there are 75 people in the class and I've never heard such a ruckess. Even I know that is not a very PC thing to say, but as I scrunched down in my seat I knew I was sort of thinking the same thing...

4)Ability to speak so fast you confuse your audience - When we'd fall behind the class schedule, Walter would read through the manuel at lightening speed. I could hear student's asking "what did he say?" and look confused. Since I'm quite experience in the art of speaking fast I was able to pick up when he left words out or sort of made up his own words because he was going to fast. I'm a master at this!

5) Low tolerance for stupid people - There were 3 specific students who just HAD to keep asking the most stupid questions. Like when Walter said "according the law if you taking a left turn and the light turns red before you are completely out in that intersection, and you still turn left, you're breaking the law." Enter lady is pink hat "Why?". Walter - "Because its the law!" Urgh...where is common sense when you need it. Just shut up and let the man teach.

All in all it was a good class, and its nice to know that at least one person out there is as completely un-PC as I am. :)