Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Don't Trust a Big Butt and a Smile!

What does that mean? Well its just a summary of the past weekend. Friday night I went out for my birthday (which is actually on X-mas Eve). We started off at Ra with 1/2 price sushi and saki bombers. We stayed about 3 hours and my roommate, Brian, and Luis were trashed, but I was fine (thanks to Robb for years of training!) The real fun started at Macayo's. A few other people showed up, and I decided to "act" like I was kissing Pemma. Well it worked, sort of. I threw her back from her chair, cupped her mouth, and was a good 2 inches away. The crowd gasped and she, with her fine laughing skills, starting laughing in my mouth. How is this possible? Its hard to describe, but I could feel the vibration from her laughter. I did not laugh (which was good because I would have dropped her), and that was the end of my show. My roommate ended up suckling on my ear later. Why? Because I told her to go ahead to the club and I'd meet her and she thought I was mad so she was trying to soothe me. I believe she thought she was being sexy, but having a drunk girl slober all over the side of your face is anything but a turn on. Later, Brian fell off of his bar stool. I didn't see why, but I saw the aftermath of friends helping him up so we would not be kicked out. I then helped him finish his tacos (by this I mean grabbing handfuls and shoving it into his mouth) and then it was off to Margarita Rocks. Jen and Mike pumped me full of Vodka, and I was finally in the land of drunkeness. The music was "old school" and this song Poison came on. Brian told me it was Bell Biv Devoe, a group of teens who I had not thought of in years. Then there was a big drunken mess, saying goodbye to samir, eating at Greasy Tony's, and then waking up naked in my room with the TV on. I deduced I had set Brian up in the guest room, was planning to watch TV in mine and was trying to change my clothes, but must have passed out.

The next day, all partied out, I accompanied Jen and Mike to their annual Intel party. I sat and watched this Mardi Gras festivity, although nobody was being festive except my companions. I was happy though, since it was free food and drink. At then end of the night, I stole some masks and noticed the HUGE face outside the building. "How fun would that be to take?" I said. So Mike is all "Lets do it". No, picture this, there is a roundabout with a 6 foot mardi gras face hanging from the top of it. There are 4 valet guys hanging out there, and partygoers all coming out. We pull up in Mike's truck, Jen leads her head out the window and says "Hey, we just want to let you know that we are supposed to take the head". Now, we have no idea if this is company property or the country club property, but the one valet dude looked confused and said "uh..ok". Mike jumps in the back, yanks down the sign, and we take off. It was just like being in high school again (back when I used to steal roadsigns). It was a good laugh that finished off the night.

Ok, that had nothing to do with anything BUT I decided to download the MP3 of Poison. So I estimate at this time these guys were probably around 16 years old, but I was listening to the lyrics, and holy cow are they sexual. My favorite line, however, is when the youngest one sings "Don't trust a big butt and a smile". You know what means? Yes, dear readers, I too an classified as Poison.

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